20 effective ways to manage anger
Anger needs to be managed because our lives are not always satisfactory, and there are always moments when someone is frustrated or even wants to erupt.
But everyone doesn’t want to let their anger “open the pot”, so try the following 20 methods and learn to control your anger!
Franklin once said, “Anger is never for no reason, but none is a good reason.
“It sounds like a clever word at first, maybe you can frame it and decorate the wood and remind yourself that you are no longer angry.
But is there really no good reason for anger?
of course not.
Experts say that occasional anger is not a bad thing.
Because people constantly develop in life, they will always encounter some anger, but if they suppress themselves for a long time and do not burst out anger, it will cause great harm to themselves, such as cracking down on your self-esteem and even your body.Brings high blood pressure and hypertension.
But anger itself is just the tip of your emotional iceberg. It does not exist independently, but is triggered by other emotions, such as fear, resentment, or upset.
So since it is full of anger, what we have to do is not to suppress anger, but to find the emotions that trigger our own anger, and eliminate these emotions before anger, so as to remove the negative effects of anger.
Experts put anger into 6 types and provide ways to crack it.
After reading the following patiently, managing anger is not a problem.
Anger type 1: Symptoms of an explosive anger: “If you throw dirty socks on the floor again, I will move out!
“It may not be easy to force you to the edge of the eruption, but when this moment really comes, it will shake the mountain and everyone around you will want to escape.
Why you are prone to anger: If you have never been taught how to deal with anger, then you may habitually hold back your anger until you cannot bear more anger.
Gradually, your “angry point” will be very low, and it will start immediately.
Many people are hot-tempered, and if something goes wrong, the adrenaline will suddenly rise, leading to a sudden outburst of anger, not to mention worse things that make him angry.
The consequences of violent anger: It is difficult for someone to be compassionate while being angry.
So when you are angry, you usually say a lot of things that make you regret it later or cause a lot of irreparable actions afterwards.
How to change this: ● Wait for the anger to dissipate.
Research shows that anger lasts no more than 12 seconds, just like a storm, destroying everything when it erupts, but then calms down.
So how to spend this crucial 12 seconds is very important to let the anger dissolve naturally.
Breathe deeply, or count 10 silently in your heart. When you finish, you will find that you are actually not so angry anymore.
(ILoveEQ Editor Bean: Aside, the best silent number is not slipping from 1 to 10, but like 1-4-7-10-13 ., doing point addition while counting, let your rational brainWake up, focus shift, and emotions will calm down again.
) ● Take control of your emotions.
Putting it another way to express your emotions will help you feel that you are in control.
“I’m really disappointed with your behavior.
“This sentence is more verbal than when you are angry”?
# ￥ ％ — * ”
Anger Type 2: Symptoms of Intolerant Anger: “I’m fine.
everything is fine.
“Even if there are tens of thousands of angry fireballs in your heart, you still show others a smiley face and hide the true emotions without any trace.
Why are you forbearing: Women are often educated repeatedly from an early age. No matter what happens, they have to hold back and be a lady instead of losing their temper easily.
Anger only loses your reputation, friends, work and even marriage.
And if you have lived in a family full of anger, abuse, and violence, you must not believe that anger can be controlled or expressed calmly.
The consequences of indignant anger: The most basic function of anger is to foretell something wrong and to promote a solution.If you turn a blind eye to this kind of prophecy, you will vent your anger in a self-destructive way, some kind of overeating and overconsumption.
And you will give others a green light for bad behavior and refuse to give others the opportunity to fix mistakes.
Imagine if the other party didn’t know you were hurt, how could you apologize to you?
How to change this: ● Challenge your core beliefs.
Ask yourself, “Is it good for subordinates to leave early at any time?
Is it OK for my lover to play golf with my clients every weekend?
“If you are honest, your answer must be, of course not.
Knowing right and wrong is the first step in making corrections.
● Keep yourself out of the business.
Imagine a friend of mine who has long been criticized by leaders, working overtime endlessly, or being ignored.
How can she react correctly?
Make a list, write down what she might do, and ask yourself why these methods work for her, but not for yourself?
● Conduct “healthy” confrontation.
If someone blame you, you can fight back with a positive, constructive language.
They may be surprised or even angry at your language.
But you know what?
They will forgive and get used to your way.
For family and friends, indignant anger is often more lethal than anger expressed directly.
Type 3 of anger: mocking ridiculous anger symptoms: “Oh, you are just late, this gives me time to study recipes, 40 minutes!
“You found a twisty way to transform your discomfort, and your arms were smiling.
Why do you love to mock: Because in your past life experience, you thought it was wrong to express contradictory emotions directly, so you chose an indirect route.
If the other party is angry, you think it’s their own problem, not your fault.
After all, you’re just kidding.
Is it that people can’t afford to joke now?
The consequences of mocking anger: Even if you feel that your language is full of wisdom, the sharp mocking of wisdom will hurt the other person and your relationship.
Although some people insist that mocking is a kind of intelligent humor, not all the people who are mocked can understand this humor, or have the mood to understand this humor.
How to change this: ● Learn to be straightforward.
Mocking is a kind of passive and aggressive communication, which is more likely to hurt people, especially those who are close.
Finding the right words to express your true thoughts directly can sometimes be more effective.
● Be persistent and clear.
For children, simple and gentle reminders, such as “jumping on the sofa are not allowed.
“The message that can be clearly communicated is a few times better than the humor below.” Oh, don’t worry, you will make me prepare another 2,000 yuan for a new sofa.
“● Speak before you get angry.
When you are waiting for a friend who loves to be late, perform various exercises of expressing dissatisfaction before she comes. This can avoid sharp mocking when you see your friend.
Type 4 of anger: Destructive and bad anger symptoms: “Hum, don’t let me play games, then I delete all games on my computer!
“You are not the type of person who forbears or swallows your own anger alone. You always express your anger in a more subtle way.
Why you destroy: You don’t like face-to-face struggles, but you are not a person who can be easily defeated.
When people feel that they can’t stand up to others, they will become “hidden angers” and secretly attack others.
Consequences of bad anger: You can often frustrate others.
The purpose of your life is not to let others get what they want, not to try to make yourself happy.The result of this destructive anger is: lose.
How to change this: ● Allow yourself to be angry.
Tell yourself that anger is a way you tell others that you are tired of his mercy.
● Prospects for yourself.
Once you had a proper report of not submitting work or someone was deliberately late, you might as well take the courage to tell your boss that your overloaded workload for a long time has exceeded what you can bear, or you have a conflict with a colleagueIt is irreconcilable.
It’s not easy, but it’s not easy to find another job.
● Learn to control.
If you feel uncomfortable because you have high expectations but you ca n’t meet them, you ca n’t be transformed into a destructive anger. Instead, you should do something to change your situation before that.
For example, you cannot independently take out a mortgage or financial expenses in your home. You should tell your partner that you need his support and commitment, instead of finding another job and trying to maintain it, but you are always angry with your family with anger.
Type 5 of anger: Symptoms of self-blame anger: “The reason why he betrayed me was my fault, because I was a bad wife.
“Every time you take all your faults on yourself.
Why you’re easy to blame: Maybe your self-esteem has been badly damaged, and you find it easier to be angry with yourself than angry with others.
So you take all your faults on yourself.
The evil consequences of self-blame anger: If you take your faults on yourself for a long time, and hide your anger in your heart, it will easily lead to disappointment and dissatisfaction with yourself.
How to change this: ● Ask yourself.
When you blame yourself, start asking yourself, “Who told me that this should be my responsibility?
“And then ask yourself,” Do you believe this?
“Identify the real responsibility, instead of stepping forward without asking anything, and taking responsibility for myself that should not be borne by myself.”
● Improve self-confidence.
Make a list and write down all your strengths.
Regaining confidence is the key to avoiding excessive self-blame.
If you have questions at this point, you can look for professionals to help.
Type 6 of anger: Symptoms of habitual habitual anger: “Really annoying, why do you always borrow my stapler, why can’t you find one that belongs to you!
“This is not a proper response to the incident, but a wrong habit.
If you fail to make a conscious change, this will become a common picture in your life.
Why are you habitually angry: If you always express your dissatisfaction so directly, or if this emotion is often revealed inadvertently, then there must be some resentment you dare not face up to or pay attention to, Sorry, or frustrated.
Maybe you are jealous of your co-worker being promoted and you are not. Maybe your marriage is on the verge of ruin but you do n’t know why.
The consequences of habitual anger: If you are always so direct and habitual at the touch, your family, colleagues, and friends need to bear a lot of psychological pressure in order not to make you angry and angry.
Or they will choose to stay away and run away from you.
How to change this: ● Face yourself deep inside.
What are you really satisfied with?
If you can dig into your heart, you will find that a stapler, dirty socks on the floor, and empty milk bottles in the refrigerator are actually not worth your anger at all.
But if you can’t find the bottom line of your anger directly in your heart, you need to consult a professional.
● Watch out for moral anger.
Be sensitive to your reaction and feeling that you are about to be angry. When you are angry, does your hand unknowingly turn into a fist?
Do you start to walk around in the room?
Keep chanting in your mouth, fear of curse or grit your teeth?
When you are keenly aware of the indications that you are about to be angry, do something immediately to calm down the coming anger.